BREAKING NEWS: FOX to Cancel "24"

Variety is reporting that the official announcement is expected in the next day or so. Season 8 will be the last for the Jack Bauer. I guess all that cash they blew on Seth MacFarlane ($100 million-- no, I'm not kidding) caught up with FOX. Good move, guys!

While I've been cranky about this season, I am honestly going to miss this show. And I will miss writing about the show as well. As the dust settles with this news, I will give thought about the future of this blog and hopefully come up with a sustainable concept that will keep you all coming back. I truly value my readers and I want to continue the fun here.  Let's hope I can come up with something awesome!

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The State of "24": Season 8 Spoilers & Speculation Too!

Madame Senior Intelligence Analyst, The Jack Sack of "24!"

(Thunderous applause)

My fellow "24" fans, I come before you today on the eve of the 12th episode of Season 8. We have met many new characters, we've delved into some ridiculous subplots and we even have a new leather manpurse that costs nearly $900 retail. While we face many challenges in the coming episodes, I stand before you today very optimistic that this season will redeem itself.  The State of "24" is not ideal, but its future is strong!

(Several people applause politely)

Now, I can go on about the problems- how Cole Ortiz has a terrible NY accent, how Arlo Glass is one margarita away from ending up on Datline's "To Catch a Predator," how Brian Hastings has limited range of motion from the neck up or how Dana Walsh/Jenny is the most ridiculous human being to ever occupy space in our television sets. Indeed, these have been challenging weeks in which many of you have come to me and stated your deep displeasure with the new CTU. I agree with your concerns, but I am here to tell you that things are going to get better. No, I'm not hopeful they'll improve, I am absolutely sure that Season 8 is about to explode your weary brains.

Perhaps we should think of this show as "13" as there are that many episodes left. In 13 episodes we will meet new villains, we will be reunited with Former President Charles Logan, and most importantly we will continue to have a fully armed and operational Jack Bauer slaying bad guys (and girls). Ever since Jack moved his manpurse shoulder strap over his head to his opposite shoulder, he has become the one-man militia that we all embraced many seasons ago. Last night's episode was further proof of Jack's resurgence ("LOOK INTO MY EYES!") and he has had enough of these amateurs at the new CTU. Remember, Jack has watched these episodes along with us, and he is pissed off.

(Thunderous applause!)

Now, I have been more critical than most about the first 11 episodes. I can count this season's great moments on maybe 2 or 3 fingers to be honest. Everything else has been either average or downright frustrating. Renee Walker started out as a full-blown badass but quickly dropped all toughness once she got into the room with a lawyer from the Department of Justice. While the women's movement may have been set back several years, I remind you all that she still knows how to fire a gun. I will auction off one of my vital organs if she does not prove to us her valor with weapons by season's end.

(A lone voice yells out "You lie!")

Can the show redeem itself despite these problems? A week ago, I would have said probably not. And even through last night's frustrating episode, I found signs of hope-- CTU Director Brian Hastings has become a worthy leader, trusting Jack Bauer at every important moment and even promoting Chloe O'Brian to her rightful place as CTU's boss of techie stuff. And Hastings is not a pushover either- giving Ortiz and Walsh a proper dressing-down that we've all been waiting to see happen. With Hastings and Jack working in sync, we've hopefully overcome the inevitable frustrations that come with Bauer clashing with authority figures every single season. Sure, they'll have disagreements again, but they will concern whether Jack should use his fist or a knife when interrogating a terrorist.

And while the politics of this season have been incredibly dumb so far, they've all been a set-up for the really big reveal, which I expect to be shortly forthcoming. I don't know exactly what that revelation may be, but I have theories. In addition I have a big speculative spoiler that will likely ruin you for next week's episode, so consider that before reading further:

Click here to have your mind ruined by spoilerific revelations!

The big spoiler: I predict that next week we will learn that Dana/Jenny was a mole all along. The whole redneck plot was meant to diminish Jenny-- to make her appear weak, incompetent and annoying, and to also minimize our expectation that she's dangerous. A lot of us have asked "How could she have cleared a background check to get a high-security job at CTU?" Well, she had help, my good people. She had help from powerful allies who obviously have some access & influence in our national security system.

Yes, it's a well-worn twist in 24-land, but at least it explains away the idiocy of her character. And she will likely be the link to whomever is behind the bigger plot that we have yet to know.

And that's where the speculation begins: who's behind Jenny? The guys trying to take over Kamistan from President Hassan? Not likely. This is "24"- they insist on adding new layers of villainy to every plot. Last season we got a double-decker of intrigue with Jonas Hodges being the first beef patty of badness and Alan Wilson being the next. So, it will likely be the same with Season 8- and there's one character that I'm hoping will figure large in this game- Former President Charles Logan.

Chuck was last seen in Season 6 with a Henckel knife protruding from his upper body. While his fate has been unknown since, the show has publicly acknowledged that the character is coming back this year. He's my favorite "24" villain and he deserves another shot at taking on Jack & Co. Maybe he's not a villain this time around, you say? Maybe, but I don't think they're going to bring Logan back to rehabilitate his character. If they do, I'll be disappointed. I would rather see him exact revenge upon those whom he feels have wronged him. "Revenge! Now we're cooking!"

But either way, there's that extra layer of evil behind the nuclear rods and Jenny that we have to expect. Alan Wilson's fate has been hinted at in passing, and I expect either he or his organization have some involvement in this season's crisis. I will speculate no further, but I am very hopeful that things will become very interesting starting next week.

I declare comments for this post a SPOILER zone. Therefore, if you've skipped the spoiler section, you're advised to not read the comments to this post. If you want to comment on this article without reading the spoilers, feel free to post your thoughts at the State of "24" Preview article here.

In closing, let's tighten up our ranks- we have a half of a season of this show left and I refuse to give up hope on a more violent, dangerous future! God Bless 24!

(Thunderous applause, The Jack Sack walks up the aisle and shakes straps with various purses and manbags).

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24 Season 8: The State of "24" Preview

Check back tomorrow for a big post- I'm going to offer an honest take on the first half of this season of "24" as well as some serious speculation/spoilers for the remainder of Season 8. Pack a sandwich and juice box!

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24 Season 8: 2AM-3AM Quick Review

 

Stephen Root has entered the building! But more on that later...

CTU Director Brian Hastings is officially legit. He speaks for all of us when Chico, Jr. and Dana/Jenny waltz back to work. He socks them both with a very realistic dose of reality- and he comes oh so close to firing these two terrible plot points- err "employees." And Hastings promotes Chloe O'Brian to her rightful place as Queen of CTU. So, with hiring Jack Bauer and giving Chloe the power she deserves, Hastings is this season's best addition to the show for the very reason that he doesn't suck like everyone else. And Stephen Root materializes as a probation officer looking for one of the Brothers Dim! Who knew probation officers worked at 2AM? Maybe he's up to shenanigans (of course he is, but we'll have to deal with that subplot at a later date).

And then the remainder of the first-half of tonight's episode just kind of dragged on with Marcos hiding out in the hyperbaric chamber. Let's just say this is the first time in a long time that the real-time format of this show felt truly real. On the plus side, Jack pulls a new move and gets Marcos' mommy to tell her son to quit being such a whiny little terror. When Marcos realizes his mom is there, he loses his cool and says "Mom! You're totally embarrassing me in front of these guys! Did you bring me snacks?" Her reply "Get your butt out of that hyperbaric chamber RIGHT NOW!"

Well, all this melodrama is good and fine (not really) so, thankfully Jack decides he's going to inject some speed into the proceedings. Jack promises to do terrible things to Marcos' mommy, and he convinces all of America with his best Chili Palmer impression ("Look at me! I own you!"). This gets Marcos to come out of the chamber, but the vest is remotely reactivated by his sneaky cohorts and this gives Jack only 60 seconds to get our next terrorist lead figured out (it's Hassan's "Head of Security" and prospective son-in-law). And just like that, Jack throws Marcos back into the chamber and the kid goes boom-boom in a spectacular blaze of violence. Okay!

Now, Hassan's daughter is put in a vintage 24-situation- just having bedded a terrorist, she must delay his departure in order to aid CTU in arresting the guy. She's a pretty good liar, but she's not quick enough on her feet. Her boy-terrorist-toy wants to run off with her pronto, but she says she has to get dressed first. "Why do you need to wear clothes, my love?" he wonders. If I was in her position, I would have said "Babe, ya know all that lovemaking and spicy Kamistani food has done a number on me- I gotta go drop a deuce before we head out." Crude? Yes, but nobody argues with someone when they declare they have to poop. You all know I'm right.

Jack returned to form tonight with his intercom intimidation. However, other silly things tripped up tonight's episode.  I'll give you all a full debrief tomorrow on the "State of 24" but I will say that the preview for next week looks very promising!

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MILLER'S CROSSING: The Jack Sack Movie Classics

I'm introducing a new feature here, something I'm calling "The Jack Sack Movie Classics." As many of you have come to realize, I'm a film fan- and in this series of articles, I'll be sharing thoughts on my personal favorites- and hopefully spur some discussion with you as well. 

Don't give Johnny Caspar (Jon Polito) the "high hat!"

First in this series is MILLER'S CROSSING, the 1990 Irish-gangster film from Joel & Ethan Coen. Well, the TV guide will tell you it's a gangster film, but MILLER'S CROSSING is a deceptive movie. Tom (Gabriel Byrne) is lieutenant to New York's most powerful mob boss, Leo O'Bannon (Albert Finney). There's a world of lies, greed and betrayal that engulf these two men-- and by the film's end they are given a choice: to either remain in that life or move onto something different.

One of the great things about this film is that all of this deep soul-searching stuff isn't the focus of what's taking place onscreen. Instead, MILLER'S CROSSING is a highly active story- pulling in characters (and I do mean "characters") from a very diverse collection of gangsters, politicians, thieves, cops, freaks and even the genre-requisite femme fatale. The story can get pretty dense in places only because so much is going on. Tom is into a large debt with a bookmaker, he's fooling around with Leo's girlfriend, he has to choose if this girl's brother, Bernie Bernbaum (John Turturro) should live or die, he's being squired by a rival gangster, Johnny Caspar (the brilliant Jon Polito), and he's being scrutinized by Capsar's muscle guy, The Dane. I'll be honest, it took me two viewings to really soak up everything that's happening in Tom's world. But I think things are complicated on purpose, so that we emotionally identify with Tom's bewilderment, which is well-hidden by his very droll, placid demeanor. The more some people get overwhelmed, the more calm and whimsical they act- that's old-school tough-guy stuff that this movie examines both critically and with a little romantic appreciation.

What separates this movie from a lot of other gangster films is something that on its surface makes it the quintessential mob flick- its dialogue. The script is full of gangster slang- there are words in here that you've probably never heard of unless you lived during the 1920s. Compare this to a movie like 1987's THE UNTOUCHABLES, and you'll see what I mean about the dialogue. THE UNTOUCHABLES feels like an '80s movie, even though it is very much involved in its Prohibition-Era setting. MILLER'S CROSSING doesn't try to make itself modern. It is devoted to its period, so much so that some of its most brilliant lines can be lost on an audience that is not intently listening. But if you do pay attention, you will see the humor and complexity of these characters. That's what continues to draw me back to this film- each time I watch it, I find something new to consider.

This is a movie concerned with morality- not in the basic "good versus evil" sense but in terms of how people affect those around them through the choices they make. It's also a movie with some really memorable gangster violence. One of the film's highlights is a scene where men are sent to kill Leo at his home. Here's how Leo responds:



If you've seen MILLER'S CROSSING, jump in and comment on what you think of the film. If you haven't seen it yet, I think it would be the perfect movie to watch on St. Patrick's Day later this month. As the first film in this ongoing series of "Classics" I highly recommend it as one of my all-time favorites.

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Large Association of Movie Blogs (LAMB) Devours The Oscars: INGLORIOUS BASTERDS

Hey peeps,

This blog is a proud member of The Large Association of Movie Blogs- a consortium of the best movie bloggers on the entire planet. We at LAMB have an ongoing, annual series of articles covering all of the categories for this year's Oscars. Yours truly had the pleasure of writing about Quentin Tarantino's INGLORIOUS BASTERDS. My thoughts on the BASTERDS can be found here.

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24 Season 8: 1AM-2AM Quick Review

Previously on "24"- Dana Walsh told Chico, Jr. that she's really Jenny The Redneck. The subplot I've been aggressively ignoring has finally made it to top of my Quick Review article. Why? Well, come on now- how many more photoshops of Jack and Renee do I need to do before I make my own self throw up? Well, this is probably (hopefully) the last one I'll ever do of Cole and Dana/Jenny.

Meanwhile, the writers attempt to try their hand at politics (again). They gum up the first 15 minutes of this episode with some convoluted negotiation over intelligence files. I will continue to hold back my simmering rant on how terrible the political angle has been so far this season, just suffice it to say this is about as amateur a reading on geopolitics that I've ever seen on "24."

The best thing that happened early on was CTU Director Hastings taking his size-12 and delivering it firmly up the White House Chief of Staff's arse. It looks like Jack Bauer's rubbed off on our slouchy bureaucrat. Man, what a great scene- I'm glad the showrunners have let Hastings take on some likable qualities. When Jack calls him later and comes up with an inventive plan to use Emo-Hassan's dead body to lure the bad guys, Hastings kinda digs the idea- almost cracking a smile when he says "Ferrying a dead body around the city isn't standard procedure" but... sure, why not?! Apparently Hastings' favorite comedy is "Weekend at Bernie's."

Well, the latest batch of bad guys (holed up in an undisclosed diner, killing cups of coffee like they are infidels!) send their most disposable reliable operative (who weighs 80 lbs) to kill a dead Emo-Hassan once and for all. When the operative arrives at the hospital, he takes CTU's version of Jimmy Olson (who weighs 79 lbs.) hostage by threatening to use an explosive vest. What do you think happens next? That's right, the vest is psychically disarmed by Chloe!  But then the little terrorist runt somehow barricades himself in a hyperbaric chamber. What? I'm confused... and bored to be honest.

In any case, I had fun making pictures tonight. But I'm running out of stuff to say about "24." I don't want to become a serial cranky blogger.  Are there things outside of this show that you'd like me to write about? I'm open to suggestions! (Seriously).

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24 Season 8: 12AM-1AM Quick Review

Renee, let's play "24: The Blame Game!"

I guess stabbing Jack Bauer (accidentally or not) results in some problems with the 'ol boss.

But before we get into that mishegoss, we start off with the Russian family, which is quickly diminishing in ranks. Right when Joseph is about to cooperate and bring the much-talked about "Rods" into CTU, he gets shot by a well-positioned terrorist working for Hassan's emo-brother. But worry not, the phone line was open long enough to narrow the terrorists location down to 10 square miles. And right as Jack realizes he's gotta go driving again, he makes time to chat with Renee and make sure they're all on the same-page. But what that same page means goes quickly from "Remember, you stabbed that Ruskie in self-defense" to Renee responding "Jack, wanna come over later and split a bottle of chablis?"

These "living on the edge" types really don't know how to do anything romantic without bloodshed, do they? I wonder what their wedding will look like... 'Nam, most likely.

But the great melodrama of tonight's episode centers on Renee Walker being set-up for some political fallout surrounding the death of some scumbag Russian arms dealers. I've been silent on the idiotic political stuff happening on the show this season but tonight's bureaucratic angst has pushed me over the edge. Blame Renee for what exactly? For them losing the rods that she got them close to in the first place? I predict the following scene will eventually take place, resolving Renee's legal woes: 

JACK: Madame President, this girl is kinda my lady friend now. Give her a blanket pardon, ok?  
PREZ TAYLOR: You want fries with that, Jack?  

Jack returns to CTU in a hybrid-powered SUV brigade and quickly puts together the whole set-up. He then engages in very Jack-like behavior, breaking into the interrogation, choking some Justice Dept. "hack," liberating Renee from the room and getting a whole 5 feet out before a CTU "redshirt" (this year they're wearing a neutral beige) tazes Jack. What a wuss move! Jack was on a roll! Bah! 

As for these nuclear rods, the fugitive emo-Hassan turns out to have a conscience after all- he's called CTU (how did he have their number?) to inform them that while he is, in fact, a terrorist, there are more terrible terrorists terrorizing NYC. It seems the convoluted plot to smuggle rods into the US to then smuggle them out was not really a good idea in the mind of emo-Hassan's terrorist cohorts. Ha! 

But the greatest moment in all of Season 8 took place as Jack was walking out of CTU. Hastings runs after him yelling "Jack! Jack! You complete me!" Jack offers to save planet Earth if they let his new girlfriend off the hook. Hastings whines about some work-related pressures but finally says "Are you in or are you out?"  

Jack's response? He pulls The Jack Sack strap from one shoulder, over his head, onto his other shoulder-- like a symbol that the manpurse just became "active." The music swells. Hastings kneels down and kisses Jack's pinky ring! Oh heck yes!!!  

There was some stuff with Jenny/Dana and the Brothers Dim, but I don't recall any details at the moment. I am in Jack Sack afterglow. So, make sure you all activate your manpurses, copy that?

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