Here's Hour 2 of our exclusive, ongoing series:
Previously on CTU Denver: Umm, read the episode!
Special Guest Star:
Ricky Schroder as Himself
INT. CTU DENVER HQ. INTERROGATION ROOM #2
Sitting along in the room is famous child-actor RICKY SCHRODER. He is worn out from an apparent beating he took when he was recently apprehended at a model train hobby shop.
AGENT MIKE DOYLE enters, showing nothing but disgust on his face. He immediately goes to choke Ricky Schroder.
Woah, woah woah! (Doyle lets go of Ricky's neck). Before we begin with you choking me, I gotta ask, does CTU always interrogate suspects this way?
I don't know what you're talking about, Schroder.
Come on, this is one trippy mind-game. You don't notice any similarities between us? Not even a little?
Honestly, I don't see anything similar between us. You and your fellow former child-actor friends are terrorists. Whatever it is you're up to, I would have nothing to do with, except of course stopping you from pulling it off.
I'm not talking about the metaphorical similarities present between the hero and villain. Geez, stop with the philosophy major, dude. I'm saying that we look EXACTLY like the same person! You look like Ricky Schroder, and that's me!
If anything, YOU look like me, Schroder. And honestly the thought of looking like a terrorist makes me sick!
Come on. I look like you? (pause) Oh, you can't be serious. What's your name?
My name is Agent Mike Doyle, I am a federal ag-
See, that right there is enough. Mike Doyle? What kind of name is that? You have limited career options with that handle. You could be either a cop or a fireman.
Those are noble professions, Schroder.
Sure, absolutely! No offense here, but you're kind of a nobody. So it is kind of ridiculous for you to say that I look like you when in reality it is YOU that look like me.
You haven't had a hit show in years, Schroder. People forgot all about you. (pause) We could do this all day long, so let's get an unbiased opinion. (to the intercom) Pressman, get in here on the double!
Ricky Schroder snorts a laugh.
DOYLE (to Ricky Schroder)
What's so funny?
"On the double?" Come on, you guys really say that stuff?
MILO PRESSMAN enters the room and suddenly stops in awe. Before Doyle can even ask the question, Milo speaks.
MILO (to Doyle)
Wow dude, you really look like Ricky Schroder!
RICKY SCHRODER (to Doyle)
See! I told ya so!
Doyle starts for the door.
MILO (to Doyle)
Hey! Where are you going?
To steal the boss' cake.
Doyle storms out of the room.
MILO (to Ricky Schroder)
What was that all about?
Your friend now thinks he looks like a terrorist.
So says the 40-year old guy who still plays with model trains. Oh! Busted!!!
NEXT WEEK ON CTU DENVER-- The Legion of Former Child Stars (of Doom)! And maybe I can find an excuse to include this beer-pilfering otter!
Hat tip: Riding with Rickey for finding this brilliance.