Monday, May 14, 2007

One question: WHY???

22 hours later-- all of the death, destruction and screaming comes down to the fate of some whiny white kid from the good side of the tracks. I'm honestly baffled as to why we should give a flying pancake about the fate of Joshua "Josh" Bauer. Sure, he's Jack's nephew/son and he's a lot better at handling himself than his cousin/sister Kim when a crisis comes down (he kicked Cheng in the face like a rabbit going into the stew pot!). But why are we following the fate of this walking/talking MacGuffin? The boy is all together useless as far as we know. Unless Phil Bauer stuffed the kid with diamonds back at the hotel, he has no value. If you were on the lam from every American law enforcement agency, would you weigh yourself down with some weepy, kick-happy teenage boy? What? To protect the family line? Well, Phil, if you were so worried about that, you shouldn't be killing your kids! What does a grown man want with a teenage boy?

And this brings me to the place that many of you will probably want to toss heavy objects at my head for mentioning. Well... if any of you ever watched Dateline in recent months, you'll know what I'm implying here. I'm waiting for Chris Hansen to walk through Phil's door and say "Hey there! What are you doing?" Sure, Phil will likely shoot Hansen in the face before he could read the chat logs, but the point is that if you're going to push a crappy subplot like a grandfather kidnapping his grandson, ya might as well go the distance.

The point to all of this is that I cannot see why Pappy Bauer cares so much about taking his grandson to some far off place. To protect the Bauer legacy? Is Phil the baby-daddy? Gross as that may sound, at least THAT would make some degree of sense. Indiana Jones and Henry Sr. shared that Nazi dame in The Last Crusade, so it's been known to happen before. And this would make Marilyn Bauer the show's most prolific slut of all-time. But again, we're jumping a school of sharks going into this territory. This is 24 people! Teenage boys are supposed to be WATCHING the show, not figuring into the plot in the final two hours! And don't get me started about the U.S. government doing this trade with Phil. What's next, Vice President Daniels bets the entire Federal Reserve in a game of Three-Card Monte? Friggin' absurd, I tell you.

The first 50 minutes of tonight's episode were magnificent... but this Josh thing really bugs me. Hopefully the return of Bill Buchanan and _______ will right the ship once and for all. Copy that, Mr. Surnow?

6 comments:

Bro Robin said...

You hit the nail on the head, what is Papa Bauer's with this one? This entire season has been hard to follow, the plot line and character attitudes have changed so often that nothing makes sense. I think the writers are definitely having an "off season" on this one. We'll see if the season finale can rescue it.

Lawrence said...

Jack Will end up putting a bullet into Farmer Bauer.

You can take that one to the bank and deposit it. That's his destiny, to kill dad.

And when you think about it, it makes perfect sense..everything he touches dies, and in his own mind, daddy is a traitor.

Big Josh said...

My wife and I were amazed with CTU's security guards. They are always getting killed. But that makes sense, the good ones have become CTU agents right? Not only are they getting killed, they are not even recognized as casualties. When Doyle came in and asked how many casualties, Nadia says "one," which was Milo. ONE?! What about all the security guards that were wasted?

Adam said...

Excellent point re: the non-status afforded to the security guards. Poor bastards...

yankz said...

I'm sticking with my guess. Papa Bauer is Josh's dad, making Josh and Jack half-brothers. That's why Daddy Too-Tall wants Josh so badly- he's given up on his other 2 sons.

Adam said...

yankz-- you're a smart man, that's all I'm saying.

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