Thursday, February 28, 2008

Kids Try To Be Like Bauer, Fail.

Does "24" need to come with the disclaimer: "Kids, don't try this at home" ?

A college student, driving drunk, repeatedly slammed his car into another vehicle, claiming that the man was a terrorist. The kid, Edgar Sullivan, also identified himself to the police as "Jack Bowers, a FBI agent and a Secret Service agent." And Sullivan got away with the whole deal when his victim failed to appear in court. Amazing.

Who can top that, right? Well, how about an exchange student studying in Egypt who apparently doesn't know how to feed himself? We all know Bauer can't eat and fight terror at the same time. But when Jonathan McCullum was hosted by a Coptic Christian family that didn't eat for several months (a part of their ritualistic lifestyle, apparently), McCullum was too dumb to recognize that he was in the process of losing nearly 60 lbs. "The weight loss concerned me, but I wanted to stick out the whole year," he said in an interview. Such staggering stupidity!

So, please, please, please, if you're thinking of doing as Jack Bauer does, don't! You're not made of the same stuff. Don't try to stop terrorists and please, don't skip meals. Okay?

10 comments:

AmyV said...

I have to admit, that second item completely confused me. Is this kid a moron, or what?

Adam said...

The thing is, the kid's parents are trying to make it look like their kid is a victim. But how does one stop eating to the point of starvation? There's something more going on, methinks.

Rickey Henderson said...

Don't Coptics fast by switching to a vegan diet? The kid should've been fine, not starving to death--you're telling Rickey that hummus and pita bread aren't readily available over there? Rickey could live on that for a year at least...

Rickey seconds Amy's sentiments.

Haley said...

Woops, I kind of forgot to tell you about that first news item. I saw it a week or so ago, and it registered as a "tell adam" sort of thing, but then the senility took hold. I have failed you. And yet, all is well.

Adam said...

Yeah yeah, Haley.

I read the story last week as well. And I didn't want to post about it until I read the one about the kid who forgot how to eat. Then, it all started to make sense...

Haley said...

Where's the story about the kid who didn't pee for 24 hours?

And have you seen the kettle chip commercial yet?

PS...Henderson's been holding out on us regarding bbq buffets... (she says, slamming her fist into her open palm)

Adam said...

BBQ buffet? Hmmm, I've probably been to the place already. I've covered BBQ in Westchester pretty well at this point.

Rickey Henderson said...

Yeah, Southbound BBQ--it's two clicks south of Rickey's office. Not the best BBQ food ever, but $10 for all you can eat pulled pork, ribs, fried chicken, and sausage aint a bad deal.

Adam said...

Haley, not to worry, we've been there. They have the beer tender, remember? Remember how you got sauced and we went to see "Poseidon" with you laughing hsyterically at how bad the movie was? Shit, of course you remember, you silly pink-haired feline!

Haley said...

It all just came flooding back. We need to go there again soon! Kitty loves her some Beertender.

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