Tuesday, November 16, 2010

24 Season 1: 7PM-8PM Outsourced Retro Review

Editor's note: BauerLuver strikes again!  She offers a brilliant, frantic review of one of the best episodes from Season 1.  I really love what you're about to read:

Greetings, fellow Twentyfourers! I have the next weekly dose of the Jack Bauer Power Hour. Previously on 24, Jack went to some National Park, George cracked more sarcasm, and David made a big speech. With relish that the Keith-Amnesia-Kim-is-with-the-drug-dealers storylines have finally ended, let us begin...

It's dinner time, folks! Maybe to us, but not to the characters of 24. Jack n' George investigate what looks like an abandoned golf course. They've been told that at 7:20, the power will be shut down in that location. George, of course, starts to lose heart in this information when he doesn't get instant results, and saunters back home leaving Jack to dig up whatever he can find. I'm liking this George guy less and less. In fact, if he didn't have a sense of humor, I would downright hate him.

Fresh of his stunning save, Tony is left to reap his reward by hawling a hysterical Teri and a wounded Creepo Doctor into his van. He calls Nina, they talk dirt, they hang up. Teri is downright screaming for Kim, and Tony ends up yelling, "TERI, GET IN THE CAR!" Seriously woman, get a grip will ya? Look? Alright? Yha? That's when we hear Tony mumbling, "I don't get paid enough to do this job..."

Down at the old slammer, Kim and Rick are put in handcuffs. Rick FINALLY decides to back Kim up and they agree to tell the police everything that has happened. Ignore the "hallelujah" chorus you hear in the background. Meanwhile, David gives Nicole the same ten speeches he's already given Keith, but reworded. But hey, at least she's in good hands! But then we get a little smackdown with Sherry, who marches in with the same yimmer yammer like before, about how the world will end if David tells the truth. She says, "I hope your conscience helps you when this is all over." David retorts back, "You mean the campaign or us?" Guys, this is big. This perfect couple has been at each other's throats all day, but they never actually talked about splitting up before. My goodness.

Jackanial Baueroone (Daniel Boone + Jack Bauer) marches fearlessly through the wilderness, and he just happens to notice something a bit funny. There is a passageway in the ground (if any of you have seen LOST, it's like the hatch) made of concrete. Ahhhhndre Drazen and his minions unfortunately already know that Jack is there, and this strobe light and alarm suddenly blare on, and Jack yells and there are soldiers and stuff and an unconscious Jack is dragged away. Security has a may of making a guy feel welcome, you know?

Jack wakes up, and pukes. (gross.) A guy comes in who looks suspiciously like that Spanish matinance man from earlier in the day. Not only does Jack learn that this place is an underground detention center (how cool is that?) but also that an unidentified prisoner is arriving at the important time- 7:20. Jack tells Matinance Man to prepare this place for battle. The plot has just majorly thickened! The SWAT bad guy soldier people prepare for battle to, but even Ahhhndre can't deny being a little antsy since Alexis hasn't called back. As Jillian Michaels said, "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail."

Jack's homemade army of janitors prepares to look like they know what they're doing as a chopper holding the mysterious prisoner lands on the chopper patch. As Jack brings in the suspect, not only is Ahhhndre's army reluctant to attack because they see added recruits, but the power never goes off (I actually don't know how Jack stopped this). Ahhhhndre stands down, and zeee priisonerrr eeees seecurre!
(and the lights are on!)

Kim does a horrible job of explaining herself to the police officer, but let's face it, we didn't expect anything better, did we? She does have the sense to tell the officer to call CTU, which hopefully he will. Down in the dungeons, Jack tries to weedle his way into interrogating the prisoner, but of course, it is denied. So that leaves Jack with two options: a) go rouge, or b) get DOD Matinance Man to call his people. It'll probably end up being both. :)

Jack slips into a random control office, taps a few buttons, and just as he gets caught, sees who the prisoner is on the screen. Guess what, folks? Victor Drazen is alive and kicking! This is quite the twist, and Jack takes it about as well as I might! Of course, this raises the question, why would Victor's sons want to avenge their father who is already alive? I think we'll find the answer soon.

Jack has another arm wrestle with DOD Matinence, who concludes that their next move should be making phone calls. Jack disagrees because Jack is a step above the average mortal man. Oh, and it turns out that Drazen's sons know that their father is alive, and decide to use C5 to blast a way in. I suppose they're just trying to make up for their previous lack of Father's Day gifts, right?

Nina takes the whiplash from George all for asking why he hasn't told Jack about his family. This really annoys me, Nina has the most sense on this show past Jack and David! And yet she gets punted around like a football at that dimly lit office of hers. One observation I've noticed is how obsessed she is with Jack. I mean, she's always trying to do anything to make the man happy! And honestly, she seems to care very little for Tony, who she kind of has as a backup man in case Jack is gone or something. The DAh-Rah-Mah.

Yeah, guess what: it turns out Sherry was wrong. Seems like telling the truth is the latest fashion these days! David's numbers actually increase and I'm serious, if he doesn't end up president, I'll eat my hat. At the Presidential Hotel, at little par-tae is being thrown in honor of David's awesomeness. We then get another juicy David- Sherry scene, and behold: David doesn't love or trust Sherry anymore! Penny Johnson Gerald is amazing in this scene as she comes back saying, (in a very dramatic voice) "Well, David, you may not love me but you'll never leave me." David is kinda like, "Watch me." I just can't believe it! How can this couple seriously break up? They're soulmates! Sherry would have to do something really diabolical before I could ever think that they should actually break up. 

Down in the Chamber of Secrets, Jack gets the go (sort of) to interrogate Victor Drazen. Yeeeees! Dennis Hopper gives a smashing performance as the Bosnian nationalist, and as Jack tries to convince him to call off the attack, he refuses. (I suddenly have a future vision of another man Jack will also interrogate in a holding room and have believed he was dead --- Omgsh spolier alert!) Jack concludes that Victor won't talk, and prepares to move his men and Drazen out. But this isn't done without complications -- our last scene features men moving into the prison. "Thhhherre hhheeerrree," says Drazen in his native tongue, Vampirenese, with oily relish.

Another strong episode. This detention facility is super cool, I actually just feel like an agent myself by watching it! The Sherry -- David breakup update, however, seems a little unbelievable to me. I don't think hiding huge secrets from your spouse is OK, but to throw away 24 ---I mean 25, years of marriage for a problem that's already been solved? Sherry (or David) would have to do something truly evil for me to buy it. Nice action + interrogation + Less Teri and Kim + Super spy underground prison = Thrilling 24! Thanks y'all for tuning in! Only one more disc (sniff) till the season's done!

Editor's note: Watching this episode, I began to realize, sadly, how much I'll miss Dennis Hopper.  He brought a level of theater to his villain that was borderline comical, but still very intimidating. It's an underrated performance from a great actor.  Thanks again, BL- you had me laughing throughout your awesome review!

85 comments:

Spencer said...

Well DAMN, you weren't kidding when you said you wanted to make another review.

This was straight-out hilarious. Awesome job, as always! And BL, for now on, when I need something to get done in 10 seconds, I'll be sure to call you.

P.S. You forgot Tony's "Look, uh.", but that's ok, that's ok. :)

BauerLuver said...

Haha Spencer, I try. :) I think I just have more time on my hands because I'm homeschooled, and this show is beyond amazing to the point of mythic! That combination gets fast results! And I did forget "look, uh," !!! Thanks for remembering, after all, we don't want to exclude any of Tony's punch lines, right?
Thanks for the praise!

Anonymous said...

Hey, great review :)
One thing: The lights didn't go out, because the guy with the red hat, that Jack was meeting in a previous episode, was supposed to turn the lights off. He couldn't turn off the lights however, because he was killed by that Teddy-Bastard-Sniper-Dude, even though Jack yelled "DO NOT SHOOT!".

BauerLuver said...

@Anonymous- Wow, that's a good point! I totally forgot about that! Nice catch!

Dr. Alice said...

I agree, Dennis Hopper was beyond cool and played Victor Drazen very, very well. The prison set was great and the helicopter-landing-the-prisoner scene was tense and effective. Loved this episode.

BL, I think you meant Jack was thinking about going *rogue* not rouge, but the more I think about it, the more I love the idea of Jack going rouge. :D

Dietcoke said...

Excellent review, BauerLuver. Could you believe that Victor Drazen is ALIVE? What a great twist. That guy is evil. There's a reason they have him locked up.

I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for...Saint Nina or Tony. Both are kind of getting the short end of the stick for various reasons. I was hoping that something would happen to Teri so Jack could go running to Saint Nina to be consoled. Now that Jack's family is safe, I guess that's not going to happen. Saint Nina will just have to make do with Tony.

I can't believe the perfect couple might break up. I think he should hold off until he leaves office. We can't have a single guy as president...only ones who BEHAVE as if they are.

BauerLuver said...

I pretty much agree with everything Dietcoke said.
I must say, I started off a bit skeptical writing our own reviews, but it's an awesome experience doing it! Its also good because we all have our own different styles. I hope this week goes by fast for Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and a new review from Alex!
That isn't to say I don't dearly miss the time late every Monday night when I would log on to find a fresh new review by none other than our own Absentee Landlord himself, Adam.

BauerLuver said...

Btw Alex, if you're having issues writing the next review, I'm fine doing another one! Or maybe Spencer if he wants to.

Alex Getts said...

That'd be good. It's been busier than I expected. Sorry.

BauerLuver said...

Sure! I'll get on it unless Spencer intervenes in time, lol :)

Spencer said...

BL-What about this. I just really want to do two reviews, so if you review the next one, and AG does the one after that, could I do the last two, like a special double-review posted on the same day for the finale?

BauerLuver said...

Spencer- that sounds like a great idea! I've already sent in the next review, Alex can do the one after that, and you can tackle the two-hour season finale! We have a plan!

Spencer said...

Hooray! Look forward to reading your review.

Alex Getts said...

OK, I'll get on the next one as soon as your next review is posted. Thanks!

Dietcoke said...

Does anyone know of someone who is doing the 24 marathon? I'll be curious if they set a new record.

We have our tickets to see Kiefer in That Championship Season on Broadway. Can't wait!

BauerLuver said...

No, but I would totally do it if I lived in California! If ever there's s show to do a marathon to, it's 24 :)
And that's awesome about the show on Broadway! You'll have to tell us all about it!

Spencer said...

Yo, how's everyone's day been? Anything interesting happen?

Dietcoke said...

I'd do it too if I lived in California, BauerLuver! I think I did some crazy marathons when I first discovered the show. I remember one night at 5:00 a.m. asking myself if I should watch just ONE more episode.

Dietcoke said...

I am well, Spencer. You? I'm looking forward to meeting a 24 online friend who is coming to NYC for a little shopping on the 11th.

All the 24 fans I have met have been great. Smart, well-read and pretty funny. Well, the funniest are right here on this blog.

Brittany said...

Whew. I'm kinda liking the slower pace of this blog these days. You can stay away for weeks and only miss one or two reviews. ;)

(I know that might sound like a subtle insult, but I really do mean it in a positive way.:))

WOOHOO FOR JACK BAUER AND 24 AND (LONG LIVE) THE JACK SACK! :)

Spencer said...

Welcome back, Brittany. :)

It's ok with me if Adam's busy. Hopefully BL's review will get posted soon, but all I know is that I can't wait to do my two-hour finale review!

BauerLuver said...

Heya Brittany :)
I am seriously psyched for the season finale. I mean, how can this all end?? THE SUSPENSE!
And did you all hear that three people broke the record at the 24 marathon the other day! Nice!

Dietcoke said...

We are coming up on the wacky season 1 finale. That was a game changer for me. It hooked me on the show.

Dietcoke said...

Where are you guys? Adam? It's been a while.

BauerLuver said...

My words exactly, Dietcoke. Is everything ok?

Adam said...

Hey everyone--

Thanks for your concern- actually we had a death in the family and it's been a difficult few days as you can imagine. I've been thinking about getting to BL's posting, and I'm going to put it up this weekend. Thank you for your patience, I really appreciate you all holding it together.

-Adam

BauerLuver said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Adam. Of course, take your time, and I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayers.

Spencer said...

I'm so sorry, man. Take your time and be cool, alright bro?

Dietcoke said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my mom during the holiday season. It's tough.

Brittany said...

Frick.
I'm sorry, Adam.
Death sucks, no two ways about it.

I have no platitudes to offer, because they never help.
But I will offer you my prayers - although I make no promises as to their effectiveness, either.

(Dietcoke, it may be neither here nor there, but I'll also pray for your own peace during this holiday season.)

Peace.

BauerLuver said...

FYI guys, it's been a month since our last review. While I will continue to check back here for updates, I'm breaking down and watching the episodes in the classic once-a-week fashion. A month is to long for me to go without the Power of Bauer :)

Spencer said...

Yo guys, if you're like me and are desperately searching for 24 movie information, this site might be the best. Check the right side on "Feature Film".

BauerLuver said...

Wait Spencer what/where is "Feature Film?"

Spencer said...

Look up the link, and see the list of things on the right? It's one of them.

Also, I heard the season 8 DVD boxset sucked. No audio commentaries, sloppy deleted scenes, and old extras. Damn. Of course, I'm still getting it. :)

Brittany said...

Yes. S8 DVD set sucks. No extra features to remedy the spectacular suck that was the season itself, which leaves you with...a sucky season of 24.

Spencer said...

Thank you, thank you! You've made my day, Brittany.

I got the season today, am watching the first episode, and will probably get half way before I go to bed, lol.

Despite the suckiness of the season, there were some good episodes that are worth re-watching, and this is kind of humiliating and forgiveness may never be earned, but uh,...I haven't actually seen 3 or 4 episodes yet. So haha, I look forward to finally seeing them.

Alex Getts said...

Darth Bauer made up for a lot, though, in my opinion.

Spencer said...

Merry Christmas!

BauerLuver said...

Merry Christmas to you too (and to everyone as well!)

I can see it now: D*mmit Kim, where are the mashed potatoes?!?!??!!!

Spencer said...

A cougar ate them!

Spencer said...

Well, if any of you guys out there are sad, I found this quite appealing.

http://img1.tvloop.com/img/showpics/2e/c2/l35ff324b0000_1_9673.jpg

BauerLuver said...

Haha my brother loves her ;) spoiler alert!!!

Dietcoke said...

Happy New Year everyone!

Yes, Brittany, I totally agree that the extras are very disappointing. Where are the bloopers that we were promised at the end of the series?

A disappointing DVD set for a disappointing season.

BauerLuver said...

I have a new theory about S8. I think the whole point of the season was to do a sort of "greatest hits" of 24 (like the nuclear plot, mole, love interest, president in trouble, etc.) It wasn't suppossed to bring anything new to the table like the other seasons did.

Dietcoke said...

You are right about that BauerLuver. Everything felt like a repeat of previous seasons.

Spencer said...

Hey guys, I hate to say this, but I'm starting to get a little annoyed with the progress of the movie. Chloe's been arrested, Jack is...lord knows where and there's not even a date or a script for the feature film. After 8 years, we get this. A cliffhanger...or...not a cliffhanger...

BauerLuver said...

Guys, I just watched the season finale. Words simply fail me. All I can say is that if you have a heart condition, I recommend taking some medication beforehand.

Alex Getts said...

This could be bad news for the movie. From EW.com:

"Fans of Jack Bauer who were hoping to get a big screen fix of their favorite anti-hero may be in for a long wait: EW has learned exclusively that 20th Century Fox has nixed a script from Billy Ray (State of Play) that would have continued the storyline of the rogue CTU agent from the long-running drama 24.

"'As far as I know, it is in suspended animation,' Howard Gordon, the longtime executive producer of 24 who is also expected to produce the big screen version, told EW exclusively. 'There is talk about re-approaching it. I understand (director/producer) Tony Scott is meeting with Kiefer to talk about ideas. People are still talking about it.'

"When 24 ended its eight-year run on Fox in May, Sutherland told EW the series finale would tee up the movie. 'We wanted to create a definitive end for Jack Bauer,' the actor explained. 'Since we do have the intention to make the feature film, it would lead into that and certainly set that up. Something we’ve dealt with in the series is how the crisis always has to come to us because we don’t have time to move anywhere in a real time world. In a two-hour (movie) representation of the 24 world, planes, trains, and automobiles all of a sudden become a factor because you are not required to go scene by scene in real time. That’s something I can say I am very excited about.'

"Gordon is certainly keeping busy while Fox decides Jack Bauer’s next play: Besides having two dramas in development at Showtime and Fox, he’s busy promoting his thriller novel Gideon’s War. (And how’s this for staying loyal to the CTU family: Carlos Bernard, aka Tony Almeida, is reportedly narrating the audiobook version[)]. But Gordon remains optimistic that Jack’s days are not over.

"'I was disapppointed [Fox] passed on the script but I’m certainly hopeful that the movie will get made at some point,' he said. 'Anecdotally, I’ve heard from people who are really missing the show and I do think there is more life in Jack Bauer.'"

http://insidemovies.ew.com/2010/12/31/24-movie-kiefer-sutherland/

Alex Getts said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brittany said...

Hmm... If they did not create a 24 movie, die-hard obsessive fan though I am, I think I would be happy.

They already pretty much ruined everything in S8. *shakes fist at HoGo & Co.* The way I see it, a movie would just be an opportunity to destroy characters and plotlines even further.

P.S. Um...long live and love to The Jack Sack.

Spencer said...

Yeah, but Howard's done with 24. His evil wrath is over, 24 fans from all over the world no longer have to hide in their closets and under the beds, they're free!

What I'm saying is that, as much as a screw up as season 8 was, 24 can pick itself up(as it's done before) and give Jack Bauer a true send off.

Dietcoke said...

I feel your pain, Brittany. For me Jack was an American patriot who fought terrorists any way he could. Jack being a fugitive in Europe just doesn't sound like 24 to me.

I'd be happy with a made-for-television movie if they get Jack back to being "Jack."

BauerLuver said...

I sort of agree with both of you. I don't want them to destroy Jack or muddle the characters, but on the other hand, I want to get me some 24! Maybe Jon Cassar can come back and work his magic.

Spencer said...

Yeah, I hate that he left after having just one more season. He really should consider returning. At least the movie would likely take less time to make than a season.

Dietcoke said...

May I just say what a great group of bloggers you are all.

I'm not sure when Jacksack is coming back but this was a great place to share love of a great show but also express where it went wrong. I really enjoy you guys.

Spencer said...

Indeed it's been fun. I've had a great time reading and responding to everyone's comments. Long live 24!(Or seasons 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 7!)

Dietcoke said...

Spencer, you crack me up. And I completely agree.

That's why I love this blog.

Spencer said...

Thanks DC!

Hey, I know you all are probably having fantasies of Gordon's violent gruesome death, but I bought Gideon's War today and if ya want, I'll let you know if it's any good.

BauerLuver said...

I'd love to hear about it, Spencer!
Well guys, it's been two months. At this point, I'm going to begin season 2 (in classic once-a-week-on-Mondays fashion.) Again, I remain a huge fan and supporter of this site, and will most definitely be stopping back to comment and check for updates.
Vivet JackSack!!

Dietcoke said...

Spencer, I'm already on chapter 12. We'll talk. :-)

Last week hanging with Howard and Carlos was so much fun. The lady with Carlos was so sweet. Was she his wife?

BauerLuver said...

Dahang Dietcoke, you've been hangin with Carlos? How do you do all that stuff?

Dietcoke said...

Well, I have a friend who was invited to Howard's party.

I went to TimesTalk and met up with Kiefer after the show. That was great. I'll have to link my pics from photobucket.

http://s956.photobucket.com/albums/ae49/Dietcoke219/Howard%20Gordon%20Party/

http://s956.photobucket.com/albums/ae49/Dietcoke219/TimesTalk/

At Howard's party I was the only fan. Howard remembered me from all our other meetings.

Spencer said...

Just finished watching Season 8. Thank god it's over, I litterally believe I'll rewatch season 6 before watching THAT again.

But the season didn't completely suck. It had it's good moments and episodes. The last ten minutes of the series finale was fairly emotional.

Guys, I ask that we each remember this show for all of the greatness it had. When you're having a bad day, or hell, a bad year, I think it's things like this that you should remember. There are good things in life and bad things in life.

:)

BauerLuver said...

That's deep, Spencer. And I like it.
Oh, and I'm starting to worry that something has happened to Adam.

Spencer said...

I'll admit, I'm starting to worry too.

Dietcoke said...

Adam, where are you? Have you been kidnapped by an evil terrorist?

BauerLuver said...

Oh I know. The terrorists know that Adam upholds freedom and democracy and therefore have kidnapped him and are torturing him for information. Then they'll ransom him to us because they know we'll do anything to get him back.

Dietcoke said...

You are starting to worry me, Adam. Are you there?

Adam said...

"I still function!"

-Megatron

More to come very soon...

Spencer said...

Thank god, you're alive.

BauerLuver said...

I can breathe freely now, I was seriously starting to believe you were in a car accident or something (God forbid).

Adam said...

You are all glorious protectors of the light. The Jack Sack™ is yours as much as it is mine!

How is everyone?

BauerLuver said...

I'm fine, but extremely JackSack- deprived. Hopefully that will be remedied soon. :)

Oh and if you don't mind me asking, were you on vacation or something? (or just getting in some alone time?)

Spencer said...

I've been good Adam. Fixing to ask a girl out in a day or two, and I'll go ahead and tell you that if I'M gone for two months, it's either because of a heart attack or from her shot-gunning me in the face in disgust.

Adam said...

@BL: I've been busy and burned out with work. Lots of stuff went down over the past 2 months but finally things are coming back to normal. I've been nothing less than extremely exhausted during that time.

@Spencer: Here's a movie quote I always think of in times like yours:

"There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese."

-Teen Wolf

Stay positive, my man- be positive that she's going to shoot you in the face ;-)

Spencer said...

Thanks Adam, any encouragement is needed with something like this, lol.

I do wonder if you intend to sorta come back and stick around. Not that there's a rush, we've just missed ya.

Adam said...

I'm back.

Dietcoke said...

Thank the lord!!!!

BauerLuver said...

Amen Dietcoke!! I've started into S2 a bit, but will gladly wait for stuff to catch up. I love that movie quote, Adam (oh, and good luck, Spencer!)

Spencer said...

Still glad you're back.

Well, my plan is to ask her tomorrow, but today I saw her with a guy who has a stupid Justin Bieber hairdo and his arm was around her neck. I don't know if it's crazy that I think he might not be her boyfriend, or that I'm just trying to find an excuse to get out of doing it, but there's only one way to find out. Ugh

Adam said...

Just keep it casual and ask her is she would like to hang out- once you hang out you can both figure out if there's any chemistry there. And if she's not interested, you've saved yourself a lot of effort upfront.

Good luck, my man.

Alex Getts said...

Spencer, I don't (personally) know you, but I know you enough to know this: if she chose Bieber-do over you, a stand-up guy who loves 24, you're better off.

But Adam put it best.

BTW, welcome back, Adam!

Spencer said...

Adam, if you're wanting to post the next review, I'm pretty sure BL's already sent it to you.

BauerLuver said...

Yeah I sent it like ages ago. Tell me if you didn't get it. (But if you wanna write it yourself, please go ahead. You have much more talent and experience in the field of writing than I do.)

taz alter said...

24 TV Show is really very cool series. I like the action scenes of Jack. He is simply a great guy and best actor. I have seen this full show online two times.

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