Tuesday, September 28, 2010

24 Season 1: 1PM-2PM Outsourced Retro Review

Editor's note: This is the 3rd in our outsourced reviews series. Tonight, we get the mastermind of the outsourced project's very own work and it's quite excellent.  Alex, thank you for your contribution and your leadership- you've helped keep this site going and I am truly grateful.  

Jack and his family ride in a helicopter back to CTU. (Editor's note: don't you mean the CHOPPAH?)  Finally cracking a smile, Jack asks Teri and Kim if they’re okay. They say that they are and land on the ground. Teri has some stomach pain, and Jack asks if she’s okay. She says she’s been feeling ill for the last couple of hours. Jack offers her some Pepto-Bismol. Teri prefers Pink Bismuth, so they settle on Teri and Kim going to the hospital.

Before they land, Alberta asks a question she should have had an answer to before she even asked it. Nina rolls her eyes at this, which throws Alberta into a fit. As soon as Jack’s family is clear, she tells him he is under arrest.

Jack asks Nina to make sure his family is okay. Nina tells him that Green has her polishing her extra shoes, but Jack tells her he doesn’t care and that he’s pretty sure Tony has nothing better to do. Jack is taken to an interrogation room and asks for some water.

Nina B.S.es with Alberta, who tells her she can smell B.S. from a mile away. Nina says that she is going to look after Teri and Kim. Greene says it’s cool, but that Tony needs to drop everything he’s doing and cover for her. I’m beginning to wonder why Tony puts up with this?

Palmer goes over some numbers with his assistant. He wants to make sure he’s still primed to wipe the floor with his Democratic colleagues. David and Sherry have a heart-to-heart, where Sherry tries to get him to cover everything up. David tells her that people financing his campaign are blackmailing him, which sets Sherry in an uproar. She can’t stand that someone other than her got David to do exactly what she wanted. David tells her that “this is what happens when you try to cover things up,” and Sherry tells him that since he dropped out of the Seminary, he has no right to preach to her, that’s what her rabbi is for.

Teri and Kim arrive at the hospital wearing CTU-issued Snuggies. The doctor wants to get an ultrasound on Teri, but she says it’s nothing, just the microwave burrito she had at 11:55 the night before. Kim says she ate the last burrito at 10:30, and is dismissed. Teri admits to what happened at the compound, and the doctor arranges for Teri to be taken care of.

Mike tells Palmer he needs to meet with a couple of other Senators in order to get some extra support. Palmer doesn’t want to be seen with them, but Mike assures him that he’s in good hands. Palmer says that sounds like a good campaign slogan, and puts Mike to work with promoting it in all states. Mike mentions that he’s afraid the business with Ferragamo is getting to him. Like Batman, Keith drops from the ceiling and asks what’s up with the doctor. Palmer says that there was a fire in his office. Mike leaves, and Palmer says he’s sorry, but that Ferragamo burned alive. Keith, still on his Batman high, puts the pieces together that Ferragamo’s death is linked to Palmer’s campaign. Palmer and Keith go at it and Keith breaks down. David tells him that he needs to trust him, and that they can’t go to the police yet.

Back at CTU, Chappelle walks in. Ominous music plays behind him. He says hi to Tony, who plays it cool. Milo quits Facebook-stalking some sixteen-year-old named Nadia for a minute and asks Tony what will happen to Jack. Tony says that they won’t name a street after him, but it’s possible he’ll get a dedicatory statue. Chappelle and Jack start a recorded interrogation.

Nina arrives at the hospital and goes to Teri’s room. Some guy is poking around, and says he’s with the FBI. Nina shrugs it off and finds Teri and Kim. Teri is surprised to see Nina, who then introduces herself to Kim, who puts down her Cougar Town coloring book before she says hello. Everyone asks when they can see Jack, and Nina tries to pound it through their heads that a lot of crap has gone down and that things aren’t so simple. Teri thanks Nina for helping save them and tells Kim that they’ll probably see Jack soon. Nina returns to Teri’s old room, only to find that the FBI agent is gone. She finds an FBI Agent and asks to speak to her partner, but he isn’t the man she saw in the room earlier. Nina asks if anyone else is there, and the Agent says no. Nina asks if she’s sure, and the Agent asks if the Pope is Catholic.

Jack explains why he did what he did, and Chappelle says that any loving father would indeed grab a gun a storm a compound like a one-man army to save their family. Nonetheless, he says that CTU protocol must be followed, and since Jack forgot to cross his T’s and dot his I’s, he can’t be reinstated. Jack tells him that’s a load, and that Palmer is still in danger, and that he can help. Ryan says maybe, if the Justice Department doesn’t sauté him with a little jail time. Nina calls and tells him that she thinks there might be another mole in CTU, effectively clearing her of all suspicion. Jack says he thinks so, too. Jamie spent too much time playing Freecell to do what she did on her own, and they think that there may be more going on than they realize.

Green asks Tony what’s up. Milo quickly logs off of this Nadia girl’s Twitter page and pulls up some spreadsheets. Tony tells Green that they suspect three other shooters have come to Los Angeles in order to carry out the Palmer hit in case Jack failed.

Right at that moment, a guy is spying on something other than California Gurls. We see that it’s Kevin Carroll, with a bang-up nose job. He calls Andre Drazen, and tells him that Gaines is dead. He tells him that he told Gaines his plan was flawed, and that he can fix Gaine’s problem. He hangs up on Kevin, just as Peeping Tom detonates a bomb hidden in Kevin’s desert garage. Tom asks him if there’s anything left in his truck, but Kevin tells him to eat rocks. Tom shoots him. BANG!

Green and Tony discuss whether Palmer should stay in Los Angeles or not. Tony says that Palmer needs to bail like a crowd at a Kevin Federline concert. Green likes Tony’s style and tells him that she thinks he can do better than being #3 at CTU. She wants him to sell Jack out.

Alberta goes to Jack’s interrogation room where the man finally has a chance to eat. Never missing an opportunity to screw something up for Jack, Green interrupts his meal. She tells Jack she needs to question him, and Jack says he needs to speak with his family first. She says that can’t happen and Jack tells her to stuff her pleasantries. They go on with the questioning, pleasantries stuffed.

Nina calls Tony and has him send over someone to get prints off of the phone that FBI Agent Phony McCreepy touched. She thinks he’s bogus and wants to prove it. This proves without a doubt that Nina is a force for good in the world.

Back at Palmer HQ, Keith and Sherry duke it out. He tells her that they can’t cover up Ferragamo’s death. She demands to know why not, and Keith says that while covering up an accidental death is totally cool, out-and-out murder isn’t and something needs to be done. He says he’s going to go to the police, and Sherry says that she’ll have Secret Service drop him. She says that he needs to understand and respect his parent’s decision while giving him the Donald Trump “you’re fired!” hand. David comes in and tells them that they family needs to leave California because of additional threats. She asks where they’re going and he tells her that they’re going to Nevada where they can enjoy booze and gambling. Sherry tells Keith that he’s too young for either, but that he’ll have a fun time at Circus Circus.

Chappelle calls Tony in for his statement on Jack’s actions. Ryan puts the pressure on saying that Tony’s testimony may decide whether Jack stays, or if charges are pressed. Tony gives a chuckle and then becomes a man worthy of that soul patch when he tells Ryan that Jack may not be his favorite person, but that there’s no way he’d disapprove of anything Jack’s done. Ryan drops a brick in his pants and realizes Tony’s checkmated him three different ways.

In Palmer’s motorcade, Mike tells Palmer that he’s found out who Jack Bauer is. Palmer realizes this is sensitive material and leans in closer to Mike to ensure that Keith and Sherry don’t hear. Mike, however, doesn’t get the clue and talks at the same volume, totally ruining the moment. Palmer then does the exact same thing, but Sherry pretends not to know any different, so it’s all cool.

Back at the hotel, Palmer’s assistant, Elizabeth, tells some of the other staff she’s going to catch a later flight so that she can spend time with her family in California. They don’t think anything of this since she does this in every state they visit. Lady has a huge family. Anyway, she goes to room 1243, and Peeping Tom opens the door! What?! Elizabeth used Grandma as an excuse to shack up with Tom! GRANDMA! I don’t know what this lady’s deal is, but this just hit me like a letter opener to the gut.

Back at the hospital, Nina debates the merits of capitalist medicine vs. socialized medicine while the forensics guy dusts for prints. He tells her he’s an anarchist and doesn’t care, and that no prints were on the phone. Nina says that’s bogus and that she saw the guy handle the phone. He thinks that she may have seen a ghost, and gives her the number of a paranormal investigation crew. She asks if it could have been a professional, and he says that’s also a possibility.

Green continues to grill Jack, while Nina calls. She wants to move Kim and Teri to a safe house immediately. Alberta goes along with it.

The doctor tells Teri that she had a cyst that ruptured, hence her stomach pain. She says it’s possible that Teri is pregnant. The doctor and Teri discuss girly things, but it’s not as uncomfortable as you’d think since they’re both women. Nina comes in and Teri thinks that she’s come to join the party, but Nina’s really come to crash it. She says that they need to go to the safehouse now. The doctor says that they were just about to paint each other’s nails, but Nina says they can do that at the safehouse. Everyone leaves, but the doctor says she’ll have to come after she finishes with all of her other patients. Everyone is very saddened by this, but a girl’s gotta pay the bills.

Nina thinks she sees Agent McCreepy, but he bails before she can get a good glimpse at him. He calls someone presumably creepier, and says that the girls have left. Ominous music swells.

But hey, it’s not over yet! David Palmer enters CTU. As people notice, they try to find they’re Palmer campaign signs and a Sharpie. Tony rolls his eyes at this, gets up, and goes straight to Palmer. He asks him if there’s anything he can do for him. Palmer realizes that this is a man worthy of the soul patch and tells him he’s there to see Jack Bauer.

1:59:57 – 1:59:58 – 1:59:59 – 2:00:00

Editor's note: I usually like to chime in and interrupt these reviews with my wisecrackin' but as I read (and re-read) this review, I wanted to make sure I didn't mess with its excellent rhythm. And this is Chappelle's first appearance- epic in the history of this show. It seems like the higher the writers went up the CTU ladder, the bigger jerks they found to obstruct Jack and his mission to save the day.  

Alex- thank you for your review and I hope you, BL, Spencer and others write more soon. Thank you all!

Friday, September 24, 2010

24 Season 1: 12PM-1PM Outsourced Retro Review

Hey everyone, it's BauerLuver (no not my real name) picking up from Spencer's marvelous review. The following takes place between lunchtime and late lunch time. Events occur in fake time (jk).

That blasted car is on fire, and Gaines and his goons are yelling nonsense and running in various directions trying to accomplish something. Jack, the only one on this show with a healthy amount of common sense, drags that Rick kid into the forest, who apparently was shot in the arm making a get-away (like I care). He tells Jack "I'm slowing ya down" and Jack wittily responds "yeah you are, so speed it up, will ya?" I love Jack for saying things like that! Bet he was a basketball coach or something at Kim's high school! ("one more lap!" "NO PLEASE HAVE MERCY COACH BAUER!") Teri and that charming daughter of hers run in the woods, trying to get to some water tower, but the path is blocked and the only other way deviates from protocol (a.k.a. Jack's orders) but the girls decide it's worth the risk and take off into the forest, where the wild cougars roam, oh wait-

Anyway, back at the ranch (C.T.U.) Nina gets all worried that Jack's not answering his cell. She tells her latest conquest Tony about being a little "harsh" since this all got started. Tony responds "a little?" Too true Tony...I cant help but wonder what she's like out of the office! To bad this show only covers a day... And just when Nina starts saying something that I wanted to hear the answer to, Queen Green (Editor's note: That's an awesome nickname!!!) barges in and tells them to look in Grandma Jamie's dental records or something, and the two lovebirds go to do Her Majesty's bidding. Ah, the pleasures of the modern day office.

David and Mike sit in their limo, going on and on about Ferragamo's death. Mike wants the story stopped but David wants it  to be released (I think) so that he can control how it gets out. Nothing we don't already know.

Gaines calls the vampire dialect person, whose name is revealed to be Drazen. He proceeds to tell Daddy York that the only way they will live is by doing the will of these people, which begs the question "why?" Why would you choose to make millions assassinating black men and their defenders when you could get the money finding a cure for cancer, or benefiting the good of mankind? I don't get it, but that's just me. Jack performs a medical examination of Rick, who is just hunky-dory and guess what? The Bauer ladies are lost. Shocker.

Back at the Hilton Head campaign hotel, Sherry tries to get all "it's all for the greater good" on David. I must point out Penny Johnson Gerald's acting because it is excellent, and well as Dennis Haysbert's. Yet, he doesn't give in, not yet, and I am left to ponder how on earth this perfect couple is dissolving like like a bug in a Venus fly trap. (sorry that was a gross analogy). Moving on...

Jack calls CTU for back up and then proceeds to give a little life lesson to Rick, probably just to shut him up from droning "I didn't know any of this was gonna happen..." yeah, ok we get it, kid. You've only told us twenty times. Jack then proceeds to get his gun, and scour the forest for Teri and Kim, who, meanwhile, take shelter in a run-down shack. Just when Suzuki is about to blow them into next Wednesday, Jack moves from behind and takes the baddies down in true Bauer fashion. Oh, and Teri keeps having those weird stomach problems. Probably ate a bad eggplant or something.

Tony and Nina then take it upon themselves to interrogate Mrs. Vaseline, or whatever her name is. She's Jamey's mom, and after Tony gets all "yer daughters a traitor" on her, she weepily confesses that Jamey gave her large deposits on her bank account. The person I really feel sorry for is Kyle because everyone uses mentions of him to get Jamey's info! Poor kid.

Mike is so sick of hearing the Keith murder story that David goes over to Moreen Kingsley's hotel room to yammer on about it there. But guess what? Carl's minions are threatening her too, so she's left the network. So much for that. Sorry David, and sorry Mike.

After Gaines throws a mini temper tantrum, Tony and Nina have a little lunch date working on Grandma Vaseline's files...at their computer. Seriously, my mom always tells me never to eat by the computer, and government agents get to? The Cubs Mug also agrees with me, as it was seen holding a little vitamin water. Bon appetite.

Jack, Teri, and Kim find themselves surrounded by sniper rifles, so Jack decides to go turn himself in to Gaines, who "wants" him. He's not the ooonly one... oh wait, that's a little inappropriate...
Jack goes running into the woods, taking shots like Lindsey Lohan at a Christmas party. He also slides down leaves. Uber cool! (Editor's note: Hey! We've all got problems... Jack and Lohan more than the average person, but it's a fine line between being a responsible citizen and doing lines of ya-yo off the back of a donkey in Tiajuana!)

David Palmer is visited by none other than Carl, who has that perpetual weird smile on his face. He proceeds to tell David after being pressed against a wall that if David goes forth with the story, he will twist the story around to make it look like Keith was behind Ferragamo's death. Wait, I'm confused- there are to many people blackmailing other people! And speaking of people, who are these "people" Carl keeps referring to, and how did they get all this power? I Like Mike comes in to tell David that the DA is waiting to hear what's wrong, but David changes his mind. "I'm running for president," he says. "And I'm going to win."

Finally, that backup has arrived to pick up the girls in a chopper, but not before Kim makes the stupidest move ever and runs back into the woods to find Rick. Rick, meanwhile, got to the road and hopped on a bus to nowheresville. Will these people ever learn?

Jack has finally found Gaines and even offered to protect him, but he disagrees and tries to pull a quick one on Jack. Jack, of course, is way better than this and kills Gaines. The head banana is dead, or is he? Before he died, Gaines confesses something about Belgrade. Might this be a new lead?

And finally, after thirteen hellish hours, Jack and his family are safe and sound on a chopper to CTU. The Sean Callerey music is ablaze as the "choppah" (Editor's note:GET TO THE CHOPPPAH!!!! I love it!) whisks them into a blissful reunion in the sky. But wait...this isn't over yet, because a SECOND hitter on Palmer just came from Transylvania- I mean Yugoslavia, to do more evil terrorist things. All is good in the world of 24...for now.

Overall, I thought this episode was very much like the last, but still pretty good. I'm just glad that his family is rescued so we can move on to bigger and better things. Like this new baddie. I hope everyone enjoyed the review, and thanks to Adam for giving me this awesome opportunity to review television (something I've never done before) and above all, running this incredible blog! (

(Editor's note: Thank you for a fantastic review- I really enjoyed reading this, BL!)

Monday, September 20, 2010

24 Season 1: 11AM-12PM Outsourced Retro Review!!!

Editor's note: Before I hand off the proceedings to our guest columnist, Spencer- I want to thank everyone for their enthusiasm and willingness to take part in these retro reviews. While Spencer starts out his review by saying I may not want to continue writing reviews, I want to stress that is not exactly the case- I am not writing reviews for the near-term but I will be back sometime soon. But in the meantime, I have you guys to thank for your contributions.  Tonight, we get the twelfth hour of Season One-- what did you think of it, Spencer?

Hey everyone, it's Spencer. In case you didn't know, Adam here has decided that he may not want to continue reviewing this season (Editor's note: see my explanation above!). Yes, we're all sad. I mean, how can anyone not be sad? This is the same guy who knew that Richard Walsh deserved a postage stamp. However, sometimes, when there's a problem, there's an opportunity, and Adam has generously given us all the chance to review some episodes in his place, and we decided that the person who'd review this episode would be me. I hope that this doesn't turn into a complete disaster and that you will all enjoy this. So without further writing filler- er, important information, I present to you my review of episode 12.

"The following takes place after the episode where Jack Bauer threatens to make Ted Cofell's organs look like they're having a picnic. Shit happens in real time"

Jack is driving to where his family are being held captive with instructions from Kevin, and asks how much farther they'll have to go. Kevin says the deal was that he'll take him to his family....which apparently answers the question, and Jack says "The deal is you better hope that my wife and daughter are still alive, that's the deal." If you've seen at least a season or two of this show, you know that this is something only Jack Bauer would say, granted, maybe with a little less emphasis and psychotic lust than, say, in season 8, but ya get what I'm saying. Also, I've seen this season a few times now, and I gotta say...I really hate Kevin. Yeah, I know, we're not supposed to like him, but he's so stupid. If you gave this guy a baseball bat, he'd probably try using it as a condom.

Anyway, while this is happening, Maleficent is giving the people working at CTU info that we the audience either don't need to know or already know. She tries to be nice while doing this, and I swear to god, you should watch/rewatch this scene, because you can easily see the disgust in her face as she does her best to admire every one's efforts. I don't know who this actress is, but if she did this on purpose, she deserves an award. After Maleficent finishes tormenting herself, Tony and Nina talk to each other about Jack. Tony kinda wants her to alert Maleficent of what's going on, but Nina remains dedicated to her ex-bf, and tells Tony that he doesn't need to help her cover for Bauer, to which Tony replies by saying, "I'm not doing this for Jack.". I'm sorry, but who exactly is this guy? I don't know much about him, but he's a complete ass and, speaking as someone who's seen the whole series, I can tell you that he's never seen or mentioned again in any of the next 7 seasons. (Editor's note: HA!)

Teri and Kim, after hiding Eli's body under some rusty bathtub that I'm sure would never draw any attention if someone tried to look for him, contemplate how they're going to survive this. Teri tries to lecture Kim about what happened, and, I'm not kidding, how killing someone that raped her and tried to kill them both made her feel sick, but Kim reminds her that she's Jack's daughter and doesn't have those types of emotions, and is like "Look woman, you came from a different family, but I have my dad's genetics as much as I have yours.". During this, Eli's phone starts to ring, and Teri tells Kim to "Cover up the blood with hay.", which, for some reason that will never be discovered, Kim interprets as "Cover up the blood with hay."

Jack's still making progress on getting to them, and there's a shot of him driving that'll give you a migraine in 2 seconds. Nina calls him and tells him that he'll have to either avoid or shoot a dozen or so men, which is the equivalent of telling him to eat a cupcake. Nina wants to tell Maleficent everything so she can help, but you see audience, if that happened, Jack would look less like a bad-ass hero. After the call, Jack forces Kevin to become the driver so they can go through the guarded entrance, while Kevin pitifully tries to dissuade him from this.

Palmer is sitting in his limo, looking sullen. He knows Allstate's stand, but he's not sure if he's in good hands. Mike Novick is with him, tired and depressed that he can't find any holes in the ground to sleep in. He asks the senator what's wrong, and David tells him that Carl will stop the Kingsley story from coming out by the source of it, Faragamo, being "cut off", and is worried that something bad could happen to him. Mike thinks he's being paranoid, and when Palmer tells him that he tried calling him twice but only got his voicemail, he gets pissed at him for exposing himself in such a way, and I have to say that I don't necessarily blame the guy. If David's really brave and a little impulsive, Mike's the opposite.

Kevin manages to get passed the entrance and continues driving for a few minutes before they stop and Jack starts asking questions. Kevin acts like a 5-year-old getting a shot, acting as uncooperative as possible and asks Jack if he thinks that rescuing his family will make up for how he screwed up his marriage. Yes genius, try to provoke the guy that's pointing a gun at you. He then tells Jack that Teri's felt lonely and as a result almost gets his head stuck in the steering wheel. Wow, isn't this guy so smart? Jack continues to ask questions, and Kevin tries to fight him or something like that, but Jack's like, "Ha! I know crappy Kung-fu, too!" and hits the guy about a hundred times. This ends up knocking him out.

Faragamo finally gets Palmer's calls and calls the senator back, and guess what? He turns out to be an absolute douche from doucheland who is completely unable to interpret what anyone says into basic English. I really hate the guy and hope that he di- and guess what? He gets his non-English speaking ass blown up, no doubt by Carl. Palmer gets to see the building himself and now wants to confront Carl on it, while Mike tries to play stupid with him and keeps saying, "Maybe it was an accident." (Editor's note: a classic 24- moment- I absolutely love it).

Jack is getting closer and closer to the exact place that Teri and Kim are. At this point, the audience will realize something that might surprise them; The season's only half over, and Jack's actually going to rescue his family. In most shows, this would've probably been at least about 20 hours of Teri and Kim being stuck in the little hay house while Jack battles constipation, but this isn't most shows- this is 24, and it's not season 8, so things are actually going to progress through the season.

And this is the moment that everyone's waiting for- Jack finally finding these damn women. Teri almost shoots him in the head by accident, but that's forgivable. However, if she had a knife instead of a gun, and Jack was wearing glasses- never mind (Editor's note: Awww, you zinged Renee Walker! Heh, funny how the show repeats itself). But Jack sees them and is all nice and huggy. Rick opens the door, wanting to be accepted by someone, and Jack's not all nice and huggy. However, he agrees to let him help them escape, during which Teri begins to have stomach problems. Teri, of all characters, having "sniggers" stomach problems this season?

Tony and Nina are still playing....World of Witchcraft, and Maleficent is pissed off because of her earlier attempt at being nice, and she is now left with an extra period, so naturally, she tries to fuck up everything by interrogating each of them until one of them tells her where Jack is, but Jack calls in time to tell her where he is so that CTU air-support can come and be just slow and useless enough for him to kill all the bad guys. All appears to be going well until Kensuke Miyagi finds Kevin, tied up in seatbelts rather than smothered to death, which would've been faster and easier.

Jack and the gang try to escape by van, but get into some trouble with Ira and his men, which is....pretty much Jack's fault. He could've just killed Kevin to prevent him from telling Gaines everything, but, ya know, then the episode wouldn't have a big action-packed ending. Anyway, Kim and Teri run away to safety, while Jack and Rick shoot people. Guns are fired, terrorists die, and there's a big explosion. What more do you want to know?

And that's the episode for ya. Definitely not a bad one, even if the writing's a little weaker than usual. One thing I will say is that I don't know how Adam sets up his reviews, but I had to rewatch some of the scenes in this so many times that I think I know the lines by heart now. Alright, end transmission.

(Editor's final note: Spencer, thank you so much- you did a great job. You're right, watching the videos and reviewing them requires a lot more than just 60 minutes of viewing- scenes have to be re-played, paused, etc. It's a lot of work and I am honored by your performance. I can't wait to see what the rest of the gang comes up with next!).

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Where are you, Jack Bauer?

I've had Jack Bauer on my mind since 2005.  Lately, he's taken a back seat to other things.

Let me start off by saying this isn't an announcement that this site is closing its doors. I'm not done cracking wise about the world of "24."  But lately, I've been overwhelmed by some amazing but drastic changes in my life.  Lately, I've sat down to write about "24" and I found I have little to add.  And then I think about other things I want to write about and I find myself also at a loss for words.

I'll confess something to you all- writing is my therapy. It's not that I work out my problems through writing, but the act of communicating with you is something I find cathartic. I really have benefited from having this outlet over the years- through tough times and many personal travails. So, here I am at a high-water mark in my life-- I have a life that is by no means perfect or "done" but I've been on a winning streak since May that has been ridiculous. I'm content right now- I'm not restless and I'm not "working shit out" through my writing.  To be painfully blunt, I feel like I've become stale in my happy state.

Maybe this is the beginning of a state of unrest that will motivate me to write something interesting again-- the calm before a new storm.  That would be great (for my writing, at least), but it's too early to say. I still have a lot to say, but I'm trying to figure out how to transition my thoughts into something interesting (and maybe even humorous).

Comedy is a charm game- I've been wooing you for years now, trying to get you to laugh and like me. You've been extremely generous in your praise and loyalty, and I am truly grateful for your kindness. But I've done the Jack Bauer schtick for a good while now- and while Jack is still a worthy subject of humor, I'm looking for something new to add to the discussion here.

The cool thing is that this is my site and I can focus on anything I choose.  But I also want to engage you, not lose you to videos of cats engaging in acrobatic feats.  Hey, come back!

You may be reading this and thinking "Okay, so what's he saying?"  I'm not saying much, and that's the problem!  I'm like Billy Joel during the time around his An Innocent Man album- what the deal with that guy? He married Christie Brinkley and wrote songs about absolutely nothing!  So, here I am, adjusting to a good life where I've been conditioned for so long by chaos.  Ah, we should all have these problems, eh?

So, I'm taking a knee- sitting out the next play or two to gather myself for the next effort. I'll probably wander about for a few days and return with a piece that is completely unanticipated. Ideas are simmering in my head, but I can't find an angle on it yet. I hope I have something worthwhile for you soon.  One thing is certain- I am not coming here to fill space and give you mediocre effort. I respect you too much to waste your time.

Feel free to weep and tip over your tables in disgust in the meantime.  The comments section here has given this site a whole new (and entertaining) dimension.  But all I ask is for your patience as I figure out my next moves here at The Jack Sack.