Showing posts with label Overheard in CTU. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Overheard in CTU. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Overheard in FBI Headquarters

Riffing on the ever-popular site "Overheard in New York," (and our own "Overheard in CTU") here are a few snippets of things overheard within the confines of the J. Edgar Hoover Building in D.C.:

Agent #1: What are you working on?
Agent #2: Oh this? (looks at computer screen) I'm ebaying some of old stuff.
Agent #1: Now?! Dude, we're about to lose our network to the terrorists!
Agent #2: And I gotta move these Hummel dolls before that happens!

.....

IT Tech: So, CIP stands for Critical Infrastructure Protection. We have it in place to save us from a failure of our nation-wide systems.
Cute Secretary: And this is what is not going to save us from the terrorists right now?
IT Tech: Um, well it's a complex system.
Cute Secretary: You helped build this?
IT Tech: Yeah, pretty much.
Cute Secretary: Can I have my phone number back?

.....

Office Manager: Should I bring out Larry Moss' birthday cake?
FBI Mole: Eh, not yet, I have to finish the icing (hides grenade in pocket)
Office Manager: No prob! By the way thank you so much for helping out, Agent [NAME DELETED].
FBI Mole: It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice.
Office Manager: Aw, is that from a song?
FBI Mole: I think Nixon said it after he resigned.
Office Manager: Oh...

.....

Guy in caf: Wait, Jack Bauer was here?!
Girl in caf: Just this morning. You know the guy?
Guy in caf: Oh crap-- uh, yeah I worked with Bauer at CTU.
Girl in caf: Were you there when the nuke went off?
Guy in caf: Which one?

Friday, March 07, 2008

Overheard in CTU

Riffing on the ever-popular site "Overheard in New York," here are a few snippets of things overheard within the confines of CTU Los Angeles:

Security Guy #1: Do you think we have any control over this situation?
Security Guy #2: I don't think you should be existential today.
Security Guy #1: Maybe if we didn't wear red shirts, things would be better.
Security Guy #2: Or maybe we should actually plug in that metal detector, eh?

.....


Guy in Caf: What time did Bauer get to the office today?
Girl in Caf: About 4AM, I think. Why?
Guy in Caf: (looks at watch) Okay, that was about 18 hrs ago. I'm going out. Be back in about 6 hours.
Girl in Caf: What are you-
Guy in Caf: See ya! (leaves)

.....

Guy #1 near Chloe's desk: I can't tell if I want to hit that or not.
Guy #2 near Chloe's desk: Dude! I totally know what you're talking about!
Guy #1 near Chloe's desk: I mean, her face is...
Guy #2 near Chloe's desk: Beautiful, I know!
Guy #1 near Chloe's desk: Wha?

.....

Terrorist #1 underneath CTU: Man, it's like they practically want us to come in underground.
Terrorist #2 underneath CTU: Look, there's a bunch of guns here from the last guys who came through!
Terrorist #1 underneath CTU: Wait a sec. That means they didn't make it out!
Terrorist #2 underneath CTU: Duh, we're terrorists, not bank robbers!
Terrorist #1 underneath CTU: Oh yeah.

.....

Helicopter pilot: Hey, Jack- you don't have anymore hidden relatives left, do you?
Jack Bauer: Why do you ask?
Helicopter pilot: Oh, I'm just trying to figure my odds of survival at the moment.
Jack Bauer: Don't worry-- you're in a helicopter. We don't have the budget to blow this thing up.
Helicopter pilot: Phew.